Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my shit smells like andre
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
