it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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