Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
