god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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