I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
