Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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