Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
