the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i out mim tonsoeep
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
