Ambien. No doubt about it.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
