we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
