This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
