Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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