You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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