It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
