He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
