so explain again why im purple
no
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dicks are not precious.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
