Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
