I love black thongs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is Oprah even human
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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