you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
