Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
