Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
