There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
