I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
