the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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