I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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