i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
