Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
