Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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