The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
