I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
