Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
