My brain says no but my pants say off.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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