good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
