The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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