Even the bartender felt bad for me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
