yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This couple is walking their pig around campus
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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