Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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