suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
