He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
