If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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