Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
