I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
