I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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