she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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