you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
