Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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