Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
