I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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