I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
