You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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