my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
