Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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