things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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