I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
