You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
